Friday, January 30, 2009

This sales rep sucks eggs.

No, this isn't a trash-the-sales-rep blog entry. In fact, Cherry has become one of my favorite reps, partly because she hooked us up with last year's visit from Louisa Harding, and partly because she has nice taste, and mostly because her yarns rock.

This blog is about Cherry's new raw food lifestyle. At our last meeting, she was telling me all about it and I was feeling tempted to convert - until we got to the part about how she gets enough, um, protein.

She eats eggs. Raw. And not in some fancy-schmancy smoothie or anything. She sucks them right out of the shell, wholeheartedly embracing the possibility of salmonella, which "our bodies are full of anyway."

She has her technique down to a science, and generously let me record it for posterity. So, if you're interested in trying it, here is a handy step-by-step guide.

Warning: These pictures are not for the squeamish. If that's you, skip ahead to the next blog entry, which is all about nice, pretty yarns.

Step 1: Crack one end of the egg on your sharpest canine.

Step 2: Turn egg upside-down, and repeat.

Step 3: Suck egg. Resist natural gag reflex.

Step 4: Make sure you extract all the natural goodness.

Step 5: Admire your own efficiency.

Step 6: Repeat 8-10 times daily, or until you begin to make uncontrollable "bok-BOK!" sounds:

- Shelley
shop online at


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I know from personal experience that her method works well with Cadbury eggs....

Billie Anne

January 30, 2009 at 2:25 PM  
Blogger Maria said...

That. Is. Disgusting.

Unless she's figured out how to at chocolate or Diet Coke to them.

January 30, 2009 at 4:06 PM  
Blogger Nancy said...


January 30, 2009 at 4:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the egg tooth is interesting, but unnecessary............suggest you use a church key, feed the raw eggs to the cat, and observe a shiny coat and a happy cat.

Signed, Cat Lover

January 31, 2009 at 4:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a friend who does this.... It reminds me of the Kids in the Hall character, The Chicken Lady... "Out of my body and onto your plate."

February 1, 2009 at 1:37 PM  
Anonymous Kristin said...

Where does raw cookie dough fit in to that diet plan?? I could handle that!

February 8, 2009 at 1:57 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home