Stupid or Effin? You decide!

In the years we have known her, Loretta has become one of our most beloved Loops Troops. Her sweet, patient manner with customers and generous, kind approach to her coworkers, and her Betty-Crockeresque baking skills, all disguise the secret that lies beneath: a sailor's mouth.

Loretta's northeastern upbringing combined with her more recent years of southern living have given her the ability to smile disarmingly and cuss a blue streak at the same time. She is so soft-spoken and sweet that, rather than shocking gasps, her cussing usually elicits giggle fits.

As one of our two resident webmasters, Loretta has had the chore of picking up newly arrived yarn from the store for photographing and coding to our web store. A full bag of yarn often set off a chain of mumbled curse words from the stockroom. This led one of the Loops Troops to stitch a "special" bag for Loretta. In cute polka-dotted pink bubble letters, it read "Loretta's Effin Bag." Giggles and guffaws ensued.

Fast forward to today. After years of toiling, tweaking and angst-ing, Loretta is ready to debut a masterpiece - this simply brilliant scarf pattern.


The scarf works in multiple gauges, with all kinds of yarns, and is especially pretty in hand-dyed or self-striping yarns with drape - think silk, bamboo, linen and cotton. We love it in Lang Sol de Grade, Louet Linen, and all but the bulkiest of Noro yarns.

She has been testing, tweaking and sample-knitting this scarf for five years. All that time, we've been drooling over it, begging for the pattern, wanting to make it ourselves - but Loretta coyly said "I'm still working on it." At long last, Loretta is ready to debut her new Loops Original pattern. Just one task remains: What to call it? Loretta suggested "Stupid Scarf," because of all the times she promised to get me "that stupid scarf pattern." I suggested "Effin Scarf," for obvious reasons.

Which name would you vote for? Post a comment with your vote, and we'll draw a winner on Monday. The winner will receive a free (as yet un-named) pattern, along with a skein of Noro Taiyo Sock yarn to make the scarf.

Before you vote, watch Loretta's video, here.

Now ready...set...post those comments! And look for the newly-named pattern to be available early next week.

- Shelley
shop online at loopsknitting.com